My friend Tutti once told me that she writes down experiences she lives. Spiritual experiences. She does so, because, otherwise, she forgets what she is supposed to learn from such experiences.
It is always inspirational when the limitations of our human condition are means to a greater end, namely the glory of God through the advance of the Body of Christ.
I'm just mentioning it because I want to express my gratitude towards God and this jar of clay of His, named Tainá. Now I proceed to the experience I want to share.
It was a five seconds experience. Maybe ten seconds, if we count my reckoning. It was not intense, nor sentimental. I felt no chill, saw no blinding light, had no tears coming down my face. On the other hand, this experience was very sober; very clear. Not as much an accusation as it was a warning. A warning from a loving God who corrects His beloved children.
It was simple, and it was plain: I saw a guy on a wheel chair, and a sign by His side, which read: "I NEED TO EAT, HELP A NEEDY MAN". After reading it, I noticed he was smoking and I thought, sarcastic, to myself: "You need to eat, but you also need to smoke, heh?" Instantly, I felt bothered and uncomfortable with something. By the next second I realized what it was, bothering me, and I thought: "I am just like this man I just judged". Oh, what a sober and tremendously certain thought I had. And without any time to reason how hypocrite I am, a second after this conviction came upon myself, in my conscience, God was giving me the hope of fighting against all of my addictions, before I present myself to him as a victimized and poor little guy who needs to eat.
I am so sorry if I let you down by sharing such a hard and harsh experience with no glow at all, brothers and sisters. But I suggest you to avoid the mistake I made by judging that sinful and, yet, needy; needy and, yet, sinful man. If you do not see yourself before God as guilty, rather than a victim, I hope my terrifying and accusing experience enlights your path, so you can stop calling God a liar (1Jo 1:10) and, at the same time, be filled with joy by knowing that Jesus is still the Friend of Sinners (Lk 7:34) and that, through Him, God firms the stumbling knees (Hb 12:12-13).
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